hey, june

can you believe it… june is here already! this month happens to be one of my favorites. my birthday, bear and i’s anniversary, dinners outside enjoying the warm summer evenings, cooking with the fresh vegetables from our garden, these are all things that make me happy. i truly couldn’t be more excited that this month finally has arrived.

   

a lot of my greatest memories have taken place in the month of june. like the time when bear bbq’d up some delicious baby back ribs and we ate outside in the flicker of candlelight. although we were only two feet away from our neighbor’s air conditioner blasting out some awful noise, cars passing by on the busy street only a couple yards away, and the night sky cloudy and hazy because essentially we lived in a city, it was still wonderful. i felt content sitting in my back yard with the one i love. enjoying my house, my city, and my life.

this past year has been a rough one. moving has really knocked the ground from under me and I haven’t felt like i have been able to stand back up. of course some days are better then others. but since we waved our goodbyes to new jersey, life has thrown us for a ride. i realize everyone moves, and everyone goes through life changes. mine are no different than anyone else’s, no worse, and no need for sympathy. but i realize that for me, change is very hard. it’s hard to go the grocery store and not encounter crotchety old woman. i mean, who wouldn’t miss that? i have a running list of things that I miss about living in new jersey, and i could bore you with all the details, but I won't.  i will tell you the number one thing that i miss about life in the east is the feeling of contentment.

so with all that said, june is my month, a clean slate, a fresh start, a new year, a time to shine, whatever you want to call it. it’s my time to move past this year, be hopeful and excited about the future, and be content in the life i am living right at this very moment.  

in my backyard

i love relaxing in my hammock 

i check on our tomatoes everyday. i am really hoping that we get lots of yummy ones this year. 

i enjoy listening to our neighbors chickens (and being a little stalkerish and watching them through the fence)

my heart gets happy watching shento roll around in the grass 

i love the way the flowers brighten up the area

i love having the option of sitting outside

dinner time has become an outside event and i love that! 

having this little backyard space has made me quite happy. i imagine we will be spending lots of time out there. 

working on

i have been editing pictures like a crazy lady tonight, and i am still not caught up. how does that happen? as of late, i always feel one step behind in everything I need to do.  my todo list is forever growing, and most of the time it grows a lot faster than i can cross things off. i have been feeling over whelmed for a while now, and have never seemed to be able to get a handle on it. which has affected how i enjoy my home life and being a wife. i will be the first to admit that my wife skills have quickly disappeared. between working and trying to run a photography business, i don't get a lot of time for anything else. that's why we have gone a couple weeks with out groceries, the laundry is over flowing from the laundry basket, and Bear, being the super husband that he is, has tried to pick up slack wherever he found necessary.

the guilt of "life is just passing me by" starting to really sink in. life is passing me by, and instead of enjoying it i have been sucked into the feeling of never accomplishing anything and taking things for granted. i am so blessed that i get to wake up every morning snuggling tightly with the one i love, and that i get to come home and go for beautiful walks in a gorgeous area. these are all little things that i need to be grateful for but i wasn't.

however, this past week changed my way of thinking.  my to do list was suddenly put on hold when our car broke down and we had to quickly search and buy a new car (which is exhausting).

buying a car was stressful and overwhelming. but... it was also a wonderful bonding experience for Bear and i. we used all the extra time that we had while test driving the cars to enjoy each other. we learned that we work as a team and both bring to the table valid questions and concerns. it was fun discussing, analyzing, and listening to each other bring up all of our options. i felt like an adult, and although now having a car payment is scary.. the experience of going through something stressful and financially bearing is difficult on anyone. but being able to lean on your loved one for support and guidance is one of the best feelings.
As for our old car, one mechanic told us it was a goner, the other said it was in perfect condition. who do you believe?

P.S I took this picture last week of these two love birds. for me, this picture sums up that idea of learning to lean on each other for support. going through difficult times becomes a whole lot easier when you go through it with the one you love. 

food, love, life Q&A

I thought this would be fun to do a little get to know me Q&A.  Enjoy. 


What is your favorite food?
Pizza, cupcakes, and Thai food. The hubby makes an awesome tom yum soup.

What is your favorite ice cream?
Ben and Jerry's fish food

What was the last thing you ate?
A pear


Were you named after anyone?
I was named after my Nana.


Do you like your handwriting?
Yes, I worked really hard when I was in middle school to have pretty handwriting.


What color shoes are you wearing?
Black and blue heals


If you were a crayon, what color would you be?  

Kelly green


What is your favorite smell?
I love the smell of honeysuckles.

Would you rather spend 2 weeks at a mountain hideaway or a beach house?
The ocean is my happy place, so I would have to say beach house. 

Do you wear contacts?
Yes! But I like to switch it up now and then and wear glasses.


Where were you born?
California


Where was your husband born?
Bear was born and raised in Florida. 

Where are you living now?
Utah

How long have you been married?
3 years and 10 months.

Where did you get married?
Midway, Utah

What was the most memorable thing about your wedding?
Of course becoming Bear’s wife was extremely. But the most memorable things was being surrounded by all of our friends and family for an entire week before we got married.

Why did you start blogging?
When Bear and I moved to New Jersey it seemed like the perfect way to document our journey for all of our family and friends.

Why do you call your husband Bear?
It was a nickname given to him by his Grandma when he was a baby and it stuck with him throughout his life. However, for professional reasons he now goes by his middle name, Marshall. But to me (and all his family and close friends) he will always be Bear. So on this blog I will always refer to him as Bear (or handsome).

How did you get into photography?
Go here to read about that.

Are you glad you moved back to Utah?
Yes and no. I love that we are around my parents but I miss the east coast tremendously. 

What does Bear do?
He’s an anthropologist. I will let him explain it for you.. take it away Mr. As a cultural anthropologist, I attempt to investigate and understand the cultural beliefs and values informing the way we, as humans, think, feel, and act. For my Ph.D. dissertation, I am conducting an ethnographic study of the political and experiential dimensions of (dis)enchantment among current and former members of the LDS church in Utah. 

Did you adopt your dog?
Yes, Shento is from a Catahoula rescue society. While Bear and I were living in Florida we took a friends dog to the dog park. Bear and I were enjoying our lunch when this adorable black puppy with ginormous ears came up to me. I hugged him and told Bear that I was going to steal him. Miraculously, a woman came up to me and told me that he was up for adoption. Needless to say, we adopted the puppy and named him Shento. We like to say he choose us.

Do you want to have babies?
There is nothing we want more than to have a house full of little ones. I am the only child so the more kids the better.


What kind of camera do you use.
I have a nikon d300 with a couple different lenses. 


Do you edit all of your pictures?
No, I don't edit ALL of my pictures. My goal as a photographer is to be happy with the raw image. When editing I use photoshop CS5.


If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask. And one last thing, I would love to learn a little more about all of you. Leave me a comment with something interesting about yourself.  

a wonderful morning

Have you ever woken up half in a dream and half in a feeling of panic? After a couple of minutes you realize that you are awake and the new day has begun. However, the panicking feeling continues throughout the morning.  You try to shake it with a warm shower and fresh cup of coffee, but the feeling is still lurking around inside of you. Yeah, you following…That’s good, My morning went something like that. I wasn’t upset or even mad. I was just feeling ‘weird’ inside. I thought the day was ruined. But Bear and I had a wonderful drive to work together. Wonderful, I tell ya. We talked about important things and I felt really connected. Sounds corny, but there were sparks. Excitement! 

I regret every time I have ever complained for having to take/drop him off at work.  That time is precious. It is moments like this morning when worries, uncertainties, and fears are not in our thought and we just enjoy each other. A raw moment in time that only lasts a few minutes. 

When we got to the location where Bear had to get out of the car, I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to stay in that moment. I continued my drive to work without Bear, but with a huge smile on my face. A smile of happiness and content. that panicky feeling disappeared. 

Thanks hubby for making my morning WONDERFUL!


P.S Happy Leap Year! 

today

today has been slightly over-cast. it looks like the mountains are getting snow. i hope the snowflakes make their way to our house. i am ready for a little snow. it makes everything white and glisten with freshness. I could use some freshness in my life. 

Yesterday was the most upsetting and frustrating day i've had in a while. everything seemed to be going wrong. I paced around the house anxious and grumpy. and please, don't get me started on the electric company turning off our electric. Somehow they mixed our account with another house who just happened to be 5 months past due. Needless to say, we did not have power for most of the day. 

I was so thankful to be able to go over to our sweet neighbors house for a delicious taco dinner and wonderful conversation. At least for the four hours that we were there, I forgot about my miserable day. 

this morning when I awoke to my husband kissing my forehead i knew it was going to be a new day. A fresh start. everything that has happened in the past couple months needs to be pushed out of our memory (at least for now). today was the first day of a new outlook on our life. Bear was in a great mood and that ultimately rubbed off on on me very quickly. I took advantage of shento wanting to snuggle before our day begin and enjoyed laying in bed listening to the robins chirp outside the window.  i felt good. ready for the day. I stayed in my pajamas for most of it. and that was lovely. bear and i took a walk to the local gas station to get a soda. we played with the pup at the park. and i jammed out to  'everythings'll be all right' by joshua radian. 

when all is said and done, today was great. and I am so thankful for my morning kisses from my husband bear, snuggles with shento, the soothing sound of birds happily enjoying the morning sun, neighbors who happen to invite you over when you need it most, music that warms your heart, and for my life and everything that I have been blessed to have. 

Quote

I love quotes. Always have and probably always will. When I was younger I would read quotes when I was feeling down. I kept a journal of quotes that I really loved, when I go back and read them I know exactly what was happening in that stage of my life. I found that journal last week while cleaning and it was exactly what I needed. Last week was a difficult one. Reading the quotes that I had written down long ago put life into perspective and gave me the inspiration to go out and find a couple new quotes. Enjoy

this shall pass

Moving has been hard and exciting all wrapped up into one bundle. It has been a challenge, and has tossed us many hurdles to jump. This move has not gone exactly the way we had hoped for. And at times both Bear and I feel like this decision of moving out West was not in our best interest. Our home is back East, our daily routine and life is still there, and at times, it feels like who we are stayed, while our bodies drifted west.

It’s funny, since moving, things have been such a roller coaster. And recently it has taken the ups and downs more forcefully.  Things were looking good- Bear went in for an interview for a position that he loved, we found the perfect house, and I was in the interview process for a job that seemed appealing. The interviews went great, the house checked out, and we were feeling like things were turning around for the better. And then wham, within days of each other everything feel through. The job that Bear would of loved was given to someone that had fourteen years experience (but he was their second choice), the house was given to the people who turned in their application right before us, and my potential job was not looking good. To say the least, 

I was feeling rather down about our situation, wondering if and when things were going to change.

But then I remembered all the blessings that we do have. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, wonderful company that has been so gracious about us living with them, our good health, a puppy that loves us dearly, and each other. 

This situation that we are going through shall pass, and we will walk away stronger.

This quote from an unknown source says it all “ if you feel like your life is in turmoil, remember that this too shall pass. No matter how dark it gets- this too shall pass my love. Focus on what you want to create. And take one baby step at a time. Keep moving towards where you want to go.  After darkness… there is always light.”

I think I will create something today- and maybe even write a list of all the wonderful things in our life. 

I will try to remember that when we look back on these memories we will remember the hard times, but also everything that those hard times taught us- and I am sure we will be grateful for these moments. 

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed

The moment my feet hit the hardwood floor I was annoyed. What I was annoyed with, that was the unknown question. I tried talking myself out of this unpleasant attitude. However, every step I made the day seemed to be turning more and more against me. I stubbed my toe as I was walking into the kitchen to get my morning joe, I cut my thumb while cutting my breakfast bagel, I choked on my bagel until tears were coming down my face, and at that point it was not even 9:30 in the morning. It was already predetermined that my day was not going to be a glorious one. The streak of accidents and clumsiness throughout the day led to a burnt hand, a broken plate, starvation (because I did not pack a lunch), and loads of frustration.

Finally, the day ended. I was still annoyed by the time I crawled back into bed. However, the source of the annoyance was still unknown.

I woke up this morning with a slightly better attitude (huge emphasis on slightly), at least I did not have multiple accidents before 9 am. I decided that I needed to relax and have a ‘me’ day.  I thought that might just do the trick into chasing away my distasteful mood.

I ran to the store and bought Bossypaints by Tina Fey. I hurried home, got myself some water, and went to go sit outside in the beautiful sunshine. I sat, read, and was hysterically laughing for 10 minutes. If you want to laugh until your insides hurt, go out and buy her book. It’s relatable, funny, and very accurate about life’s issues.

In any case, as I was laughing I was unaware of the humongous black cloud that doomed over me. The sun managed to go into hiding and the sky turned dark. Within minutes it started raining. My perfect, sitting outside day just turned for the worst. I started laughing.

I took this time, thanks to the rain, to work on my never-ending to-do list. Crossing things off slowly relieved something inside of me. The bad mood gradually drifted away. It was wonderful. I started singing around the house, secretively wishing that I were part of glee (I am pretty sure I am somewhat tone deaf).

It is now evening time and the house is quite. Bear is out doing school stuff. I am missing him and hoping that he will come walking through our door any minute. It did eventually clear up and turned into a beautiful evening that I am fully enjoying by sitting outside. 

Onto the better half of the week .

Crazy Life

The blog has been the least thing on my mind lately, and I apologize to anyone who actually reads this. Our lives turned into a little bit of a whirlwind this past month. It started out with a blown tire, then the car battery. Followed by me getting rear-ended. Luckily my car and myself were okay. Minus a little dent and multiple scratches on the bumper. On the other hand, the seventeen-year-old girl’s car was not okay. We called the cops. The cop was a jerk; my registration was 3 days late (in the mail might I add). The cop towed my car because of my non-registered vehicle. Failed to mention where I could find my car on a later date. Fortunately, the Italian east coast tow truck mechanic (who towed my car) was nice enough to drive me to his shop so that I did not have to stand outside in the poring rain. He even offered me coffee, gave me the name and number of whom I can contact about my vehicle, and called a taxi so that I could get home.  This story could go on and on… However, I will end it with this..  I had a slight break down (a little dramatic) in the taxi car on the way home, Bear and I ran all over town the following day in our neighbor’s car to try to get everything taken care of, and I now have to I appear in court after the holidays. Whew! 

We have also been running here and there trying to follow through with all of our commitments. Bear has been busy finishing up the semester, which means late nights for him. I was (thankfully it is over) trying to finish putting together presentations for my middle school kids, which meant gluing and cutting lots of photo mate board and making cute decorations. In all reality, it just meant that our house was covered in school and craft supplies. Bear reads and I edit photos. I had one bad photography shoot, caused a couple of tears but I am happy to report that as of today I feel like things are on the up and up. Not that all of these bumps were bad. Yes, some of them made me shed a few tears but through all of this, it was wonderful to see that most people are so willing to help in a time of need (minus the cop). 

I had a redo photography shoot this morning, that I am extremely proud of. I was able to spend the rest of the day wondering from shop to shop checking things of my Christmas shopping list, our bags are half way packed for our Utah trip, our Christmas cards should be arriving tomorrow, and I am finally getting sometime to update our blog.  Yahoo…