4.12.2010

The after college experience


I am currently sitting on an Amtrak train headed to Boston, MA. I am attending some work meeting tomorrow in our Boston office. I have never been to Boston but I have heard that it is a beautiful city. I will be there for less then 24 hours so my time is limited. Maybe tonight I will walk around down town and see what the city has to offer, on second thought, I might just go strait to my hotel, order room service and watch lame TV shows. I will let you know what I decide. The past couple weeks have been long and somewhat trying. I am looking forward to a quite hotel room tonight (no! Bear and I are not having any problems).  Work has been hard and difficult. The days become battles to stay happy. Currently I am doing the work of three people with no reward. Hardly ever even a thank you.  It is weighing on me and I am learning how to deal with it. They never tell you that you may not find your dream job after college. Or that after college you may not even know what your dream job is. I thought I knew and I feel like I kind of still do, but how do I go about actually doing it. I think that someone should brief you on experiences that people have after college. It would be called “the real job market for the college graduate”.  No sugarcoating it. Oh well, I will get over it. In the end I will look back on all this work madness and be thankful for the experiences, whether they be good or bad they all teach you something.
I never thought about this in college nor when I was younger and would dream up how my life would unravel itself.  But it has been on my mind lately. Here in the east coast life seems to be revolved around your job. That is how you define yourself, how you plan your week, and what makes you feel accomplished. In Utah I have found that it is completely different. What defines you is your family and your faith. You plan your time according to your family’s needs and wants.  Both Bear and I look at people that have become workaholics and feel sorry for them. They seem to miss out on what life is all about. But anyways, back to what has been on my mind lately. What is it in my life that really makes me happy? Of course my husband and all that he does for me. But I wanted to try to dig deeper. If I had to wake up every day for the rest of my life what would make me happy? I have thought about it a lot and have come to an answer. Being a Mom. I cannot wait to have children and go through life with them. I feel extremely blessed to have a husband that loves me for me and understands or at least tries his hardest to understand what it feels like to have a strong desire to have a family. For some, it is hard to say that you could do something for the rest of your life when you have never done it. Your right, I have never been a Mom, but something inside of me aches for it. Children bring a smile to my face so I can just imagine what my own will do for me someday. Not saying that I think everyday will be great, there will be bumps in the road but I know that those bumps will be worth it.
Sometimes while Bear and I lie in bed we make up scenarios of what we want our life to be like. We dream up the house and what it will look like, how many kids we will have and where we will live. We talk about kid’s names and if they will have brown or green eyes. For that moment in time everything seems like it will work itself out. But for now, I will go to my meeting in Boston, entertain my boss with some detailed spreadsheet or colorful brochure and live the life of wife/marketing assistant.

P.S I do get to go see my Parents on Wednesday and my Best friend on Thursday. Life is not all bad 

2 comments:

Hailey Jones said...

ahhh.
thank you.
sometimes i am so scared to be a mommy. but like it or not the babe is coming! :D
love your blog!
have fun visiting family!

Lindsay said...

Dear Katrina,

Thank you for giving me some perspective. This little post has reminded me of where my priorities lie. I love you, I miss you, and I hope to see you soon. Give me a call when you have some time.